Write How You Know

So I had this dream that I was doing a conga line led by Boston Pops conductor Keith Lockhart and Wally the Green Monster, except there was no music playing, and it was morning, so nobody was drunk. And there was an audience, only they were there for something else, so they were a little confused, but they would occasionally toss out halfhearted words of encouragement as we awkwardly shuffled by.

keithwally

Then I had this other dream that I finished the outline for my novel-in-progress.

outline

Ha ha, just kidding. One of those things actually happened. The other will never happen, ever.

novel

It’s true. While I will conga at 9:30 AM/sing/wear a gold sequined hat/sacrifice a goat for the Pops, I can’t write an outline to save my life. Like, literally, if Al Capone had a — um, un-filled-out Form 1040 pointed at my head, and he was like, “OUTLINE YOUR NOVEL NOW, TOOTS!” I probably still couldn’t do it.

callmeal

“And put in something nice about my luscious, full lips!”

Some people can outline a novel the way my cat Bert I. Gordon pees on the bath mat — with elegance and aplomb. I am not one of these people. I know this now, after months of trying to outline to no avail. I’d thought, “Hey, I have a deadline, I need to be efficient! No more dipsticking around with scenes willy nilly! OUTLINE!” It was such a good plan. Here’s my progress:

Character: Redwing [This is the title of the book.]

Conflict: Something bad happens.

Also: Plants.

Then I drew a picture of goggles.

858400_509700502413979_776429107_o

Eventually, I had to come to terms with the fact that the Plan was not working. So I wrote a scene instead. Then I wrote another scene. I still don’t know how the story ends, but, theoretically, I will have a novel soon. So, theoretically, my publisher won’t end up visiting me in the night with cement overshoes.

It can be very tempting to try to change your process when faced with the new demands a contract brings. Do I have to write more often, and with more purpose, than before? Absolutely. But I wrote scene by scene before, and that’s still how I have to do it, whether or not I have a potentially fatal deadline (and if you do have one, click that link and read Laurie Ann Thompson’s post). A kirikuchi char can’t change its spots, as they say.

char

“I can, actually, through hybridization.”

I know this is not that revelatory, and also that I have difficulty both spelling and saying “revelatory.” But as I, like the other Emus, go from “signing contract” to “fulfilling contract,” I’m learning one thing at a time. So if you’re wondering whether to instantly become a different sort of writer, let me cast my vote for Team Write How You Know.

I’ve also learned that the conga is not my dance. In fact, it’s no one’s dance. So you should all come over and we’ll do the electric slide. I can show you one step at a time. Just don’t ask me to outline it.

slide

Inciting Incident: BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

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10 Comments

Filed under Advice - Helpful or Otherwise, Anxiety, Writing and Life

10 responses to “Write How You Know

  1. Adi, your posts are such fun! I’m totally on board with the volcano and hot guys (maybe too hot at that point?). And yes, don’t outline if it doesn’t feel good. I don’t. :-/ I prefer feeling my way through.

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  2. Oh, me too, Adi!!! Um, let me clarify. I did not have the dream you had. I usually don’t outline. I wrote one novel outline. Haven’t finished that novel yet. As for my current WiP, I researched photos of hot guys. But that has nothing to do with this book. I wrote half a scene, a line of dialogue, and some story notes. That’s about how I roll.

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  3. I like this. I can’t outline either, but the novel advice I was given was to outline. I’m much more a pantser. But after this post, maybe it’s called a PLANTSER?

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    • I can understand the advice to outline, I really can. It just feels so much more efficient, and it may be for people who can actually do it. But we plantsers just photosynthesize differently!

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  4. I love this post, Adi! It’s exactly what I needed to read this week after struggling all last week to write a synopsis for a book I haven’t finished yet. I generally know where a story is heading, but writing a very detailed outline in advance just doesn’t seem to be the way for me. Thanks for validating the less-planned method.

    And plantser–perfect, Tara L.!

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  5. Joshua McCune

    Definitely not an outliner… Though I’ve started to more recently to help contain my plots. Still end up diverging. Lol. Write how you know. Truth

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  6. Pingback: The Trouble with Outlines | EMU's Debuts

  7. Laura the Horrah

    I just want to reply that I was actually in that Conga Line with you. And it was righteous. I actually do outline occasionally, but I try not to let it affect my everyday life.

    The End. ❤

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